Photo credit: Isaiah Stephans
Recently, I was on facebook and came across a status a friend had posted along the lines of ‘…every women should love their body, and not bring one another down, but instead lift each other up” (I decided to share her post on my Facebook profile so feel free to check it out here). This got me thinking about the way that society views women, how men view women and how women view themselves. Also, before I get cracking on this topic, please understand that I don’t label myself as a “feminist” simply because the actual idea of Feminism has become somewhat mainstream and got lost in translation throughout the years. Although I do believe in equality and self-worth but that should not depend on which sex you are, so I guess you could call me an “Ifeminist” in that case – someone who believes in the thought of “a woman’s body, a woman’s right”.
Okay now that we have crossed that bridge, let’s start discussing the actual topic – Body Shapes, and how it is seen in today’s society. Simply put, people have a misunderstanding of the word ‘fit’ or being ‘in shape’. I guess we have the media to blame for this as there are always advertisements or posts about one’s body and health, or fashion or even just beauty. I have noticed that when I examine these types of advertisements or posts, I start to look at the way the women are depicted and if I look anything like them concerning body shape, their hair, the makeup, and of course the way that they are dressed. Unfortunately, every woman does this (no denying it here ladies!) every once in a while, and slowly but surely it starts to affect the way we think and view ourselves. I mean, take this for example: If someone close to you tells you that you’re fat or unattractive, you might deny it or tell them to bugger off. But if that individual constantly tells you that you’re fat and unattractive, you will start to doubt yourself and believe that what they’re saying is in actual fact true. This is where the men come in handy!
Men. If your lady complains about her butt being too small or her boobs being too big, then this should be your opportunity to let her know that her body is perfect in your eyes. Unless of course you don’t think so, then quite frankly you don’t deserve her because I can guarantee you that there is someone that thinks her body is gorgeous. Every man loves being told that they’re handsome and feel as though they are wanted, and in my opinion, ladies love it too. Her body is like a temple that should not be trampled on, mocked or frowned upon. Instead, it should be praised for what it is worth, which is way more than money could ever buy. Her body is her home, and it is yours too. What man does not feel at ease whenever his lady holds him close in her arms, and lets him rest upon her chest? Statistics say its 0% (I am statistics btw). When you are at home, you want to feel at ease, and comfortable. You want to keep your home as neat as possible, and show it off when guests are around. This is exactly the attitude a man should have when thinking about his lady – Show her off for what she is worth, and let her know that her body is as beautiful as her mind.
Now ladies, the way in which we view ourselves and others is very important. I have noticed that although women tell one another that they look fine or that those pair of jeans look good, it isn’t always true. Often, it is the exact opposite to what we are actually thinking. This is literally the opposite of what we should be saying or doing – Instead, we should uplifting one another. Each and every woman is different in some sort of way – Tall, short, skinny, plump, curvy, white, coloured, black, old, young, hip, quirky, and attractive. Each one of us have great features, whether its amazing eyes, long thick hair, short tight curls, big butt, perky boobs, a cute button nose, long legs, beautiful fingers and toes, a gorgeous smile, straight teeth, freckles, chubby cheeks, curvaceous thighs, and the list goes on. Each one of these features are stunning, and unique to the person that God made you to be, and you should appreciate what you have been blessed with.
I have a dream for the way women view themselves and treat one another – that is, to be confident in their own skin and comfortable with every aspect of their body; to see that the way we look is an actual blessing in itself; and instead of beating each other down about the aesthetic aspects, we will praise one another. Women will no longer judge or compare, but rather compliment another on what they admire. We will stand together, instead of pulling each other apart through social media and cyberbullying about ‘weight control’ or the things we might view as negative. Remember, everyone has a different view about a specific person or topic, and this does not always mean that they are correct in their thinking. Women will love one another, and love themselves for who they are and who they are destined to be.
I truly believe that you are beautiful in your own skin. Love your body, ladies. It’s the only one you have!
Ms Paula Bee