Let’s Talk | Relationships

Hi darls!

I thought it would be quite interesting to discuss the topic that is bound to end up on everyone’s lips every once in a while – Relationships. Let me start off by saying that I am not going to biased towards my previous  or current relationships, nor towards the fact that I am a female. I will express my thoughts from both views as best as I possibly can, and hopefully you will enjoy it or maybe even learn something new about the opposite sex when it comes to relationships.

Alright, let’s begin. I think that the way in which relationships played out in the past when our parents were ‘courting’ was very different to the way relationships are handled in today’s world. I mean, back then there was no such thing as “iMessage” or “Whatsapp”, nevermind Facebook or Twitter. And to a certain extent, I have to admit that I quite like the thought of that. When dating in the technological era, people often make the big mistake of sharing their personal issues or matters on social media platforms, which usually ends up in a big mess between quite a few people, and often excluding the actual couple. Dating in the past must have been pretty decent, if you consider the fact that instant technology didn’t take over yet. Young couples engaged in deep conversations, bonding with one another’s family, and actually going through the dreadful confrontation (in person, and not a direct Facebook message) of arguing and then later sorting matters out. I feel that too many couples these days don’t take the time out to actually get to know the deepest secrets and qualities that their partner has before actually getting engaged or tying the knot. Rushing. That is the word I am looking for. Too often the relationships that we’re in is rushed into, and we don’t even realise it until it’s too late. 

Relationships are seen differently by each and every individual. I am not too sure about how many people will agree with me on this, but I will elaborate on what I think and believe in. In my opinion, God should be put first in everything whether it is in your home, university work, finances, friendships, and relationships. A relationship that is built with trust, faithfulness, kindness, and love will only go further and become stronger if God is the solid foundation. I love the quote – “A woman’s heart should be hidden in Christ that a man should have to seek Him first to find her.” (by Maya Angelou) – simply because it’s so true. A woman should never slack at her commitment as a Christian, just to impress a man that she might be interested in. And if she does, that man should know better and confront her about it. A man’s heart should belong to the Lord, and trust that He will provide the perfect Christian princess, designed by the King himself.

Photo credit: tumblr.com

As most of you know, I am an aspiring psychologist which means that I often place myself in a world where it’s best to think as if I were someone else or in somebody else’s shoes. That’s what I also tend to do when generally thinking of the opposite sex in relationships. Ladies think very differently to the gents, let’s admit it. I feel that the majority of women are emotional or sensitive beings, whereas the majority of men are more physical or less sensitive. This will definitely affect the way the relationship is handled, and in the end it will affect how one partner reacts towards the other in any given situation. I personally think that ladies should try to understand that men will not and cannot read our minds. So the whole vibe we have going when we respond with “I am fine…” is uncool, and will not aid an issue in the future (speaking from experience here, and I still do this *cringe*). We need to express our feelings, but not in an irrational manner. Men will not listen if screaming and moaning is involved. Instead, its best that as a couple, we should sit down (easier in theory, obviously) and actually discuss what the main issues are. This way, plenty of emotions will pour out but at least there will be a discussion taking place and nothing is left unsaid.  It’s kind of like exercise – “It’s better to do a minimal amount of exercise, because you’re at least going faster than the person sitting on the couch.” If I link that to my previous statement, I’d say that it’s better to discuss the issues, than to sit around and have terrible animosity between you two.

Secondly, relationships that aren’t meant to be will not work out, and that’s the harsh truth. I know that there was a hottie you dated throughout high school, and now that you’re in university, it seems as though things just aren’t looking as peachy-keen as you two imagined it to be. I know that you spoke about your future together, and how your cute suburban house will look and how many kids you’ll have. But honey, unfortunately it’s come to end and its not okay for you to remind yourself, or your ex for that matter, of that beautiful past you shared. Too often people forget that a relationship ended for a reason – either there were too many arguments; it was based on physical attractiveness (which in my opinion is so shallow); the love was one-sided; or whatever the case may be. It’s important to remember that your relationship ended for a specific purpose, and that purpose should remain in your subconscious when seeing them in the future again. When I say seeing, I mean it in the sense of actually seeing them with your eyeballs, not dating. Haha! We all know that feeling when a beloved ex pops up in your life and you feel like your knees have just turned into jelly, and you clearly lost all knowledge on how to speak like a human being. I think that this is the perfect time to stand your ground and remember why you two ended in the first place (whether you’re male or female).

Ahh, I honestly could go on and on about this topic. I mean, most of you don’t personally know me and I don’t know you. You don’t know what I have been through and vice versa, but just know that when I speak about love and relationships, it’s mostly because I’ve experienced it on a first-hand basis. Love is a beautiful thing. If you are in love – Keep it and treasure it. Protect it. Let it change you for the better. Let love move you. And let it make you do silly things like get into trouble for spending too much time at your boyfriend\girlfriend’s place or late night drives up Signal Hill. Love is a blessing my friends, and you should be so grateful to have it in your life. You get some married couples that don’t even truly love one another. They’re more just like room mates who share kids, responsibilities and finances. How sad?

My mom always taught me not to put my ‘business’ out there for people to know. Which I agree with, but to a certain extent (My older brother taught me later in life that people will only know your business, if you put it out there. The amount of information you put out there, is what they’ll know). Your relationship shouldn’t be all over social media, whether its the positive aspects or the negative aspects. To be honest with you, only a select few will be truly happy for you, whereas the rest are just going to skinner (a.k.a. gossip), criticise and sometimes even spread rumours. I personally think that your relationship should be kept sacred and between you and significant other. Yes, it feels good to discuss details with your ladies when you’re sitting around and watching Shameless whilst painting your nails, but not everything should be shared. There are just some things that are meant to be kept secret just for you and your love. It’s special. So yeah, the point I’m trying to make is that you really shouldn’t be sharing all your details on social media. It’s no fun!

Anyway, that’ll be all for me for now on the topic of love. But I know I’ll recreate another post similar to this one simply because I love the topic. Leave me some comments or questions, and we can chat about it.

Chat soon darls!

Ms Paula Bee

xo