Moving On Up.

You could say that August was my “horrible” month for 2017. You guys, I had such a terrible month that I would end up crying for no reason some days. I would be sitting in front of my computer and burst into tears. I don’t want to turn this post into a little venting session but I would like to be honest with you and let you know a little bit about what happened.

Tough Times

I was rejected from a job that I applied for (not in this field though), and it cut me deep. I am a pretty sensitive person, so rejection is something that I tend to struggle with. I felt pretty worthless and struggled to understand why I was not accepted. “What’s wrong with me?” and “Why would they not want to hire me??” would play in my mind as I would lay in bed at night, just thinking about the entire process. Another situation arose in August where I felt like an absolute no one, mind you, not that I need some sort of recognition but it hurt really badly when I was not even acknowledged or addressed in a meeting. I am not the kind of person who needs a lot of attention or recognition in a social setting – I’m quite fine just being on my own or being a fly on the wall. However, I felt pretty rejected and like a ghost in this particular setting and it cut me deep.

All in all, I can say that I felt rejected and worthless. This kind of explains why I was so “off” in my previous vlog, where many of you sent me messages saying that you’re thinking of me (*thank you so much!).

I belong to great Connect group, where we get together every Tuesday evening and discuss the bible, God, and relevant issues that we’re facing. It’s really great belonging to a group like this because it means you have Christian friends who are backing you up in prayer, as well as sharing your story with them on a weekly basis. It really helps to get things off of your chest where there will be no judgement. I decided to share my story with my Connect group on the very last Tuesday of August, and everyone prayed for me in the group. God has an amazing way of working, and I feel that when you have others praying for you, it helps to solidify and strengthen your prayer!

Moving On Up

With the new month that started, I decided to take a step back and mentally recuperate. I got too caught up in my negative thinking and terrible mindset, and I needed to actually just take a step back and adjust. I dove into my prayer time, taking time to ask God for more opportunity and favour over my life. But most importantly, I tithed. I never really realised the importance of tithing until recently, but I think I’ll save that for another post or video. I decided to stop doing things in my own strength and rely only on God, giving Him full control of my life. Guys, guess what? I have been booked up with jobs since 1 September until mid October! I’ve also had two job opportunities (in my other field) come my way! My word… I’m actually speechless and in awe of how God can turn a dry season in your life into a season overflowing with favour. My mindset has a lot to do with it, as I decided to take a different approach since the beginning of this month. I know that God has better in store for me and I cannot wait for it to unfold.

I think the principle of my short testimony is this:

– God will always have better and greater things in store for you, even when you think that you’ve got it good. If things are looking bleak in your life, that is your season to rely even more on God and surrender to Him – that’s why He takes us through these periods.
– Don’t judge someone based off of what they portray on the outside. Social media has a lot to do with that because we will post things that we want our followers to see, however, you don’t know what is truly going on in their lives. Perhaps you see that “Person A” has been flourishing in life lately and travelling or working with amazing companies, but you didn’t see their journey to get to that point.

I really wanted to share a little bit about my past month, and I hope that you enjoyed reading up about it all – the good and the bad.

About The Outfit

Puffy Sleeve Blouse – Foschini
Jeans – New Look available on Zando
Shoes – Carvela available at Spitz
Earrings – Lovisa

Until next time,

Photographer: Lorenzo Lakay

8 comments

  1. Deidre says:

    Powerful! Thanks so much for sharing Paula I needed this so much.
    May God’s Grace be upon your journey further and I believe all things will work out for the good of you ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Chesiin says:

    Inspiring i must say. See rejection as redirection ๐Ÿ˜ glory to God

  3. Anchen Timm says:

    This post really spoke to me, I have not been having this best year so far but this just reminded me to have a positive mindset & to always trust God because He has better things in store for you. Thank you. Amen xx

    1. Yolz says:

      Oh wow. What an encouraging and powerful testimony Paula. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Bronwyn Oliver-Eksteen says:

    Beautifully written, my friend. It takes so much courage to be honest (and perhaps vulnerable?) in this way. It is appreciated that you care enough to let others know your struggles because we witness you flourishing, too. Your growth is evident. We will pray with and for you. With love ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Chenelle says:

    This really touched me and I wanted to say thank you! I have been feeling the exact same way and feeling like things are just going wrong in all aspects of my life. I also belong to a group and it does really help and yes leaving it all in God’s hands and believing it’s His will and the best is yet to come! Thanks for this post and testimony!

  6. Natasha Martin says:

    This is really powerful. Your testimony has definitely helped me in my current. Putting all my hope and trust in God and allowing Him to do the rest, which is the Best. Thank you so much for sharing your story. ๐Ÿ’—

  7. Natasha Martin says:

    This is really powerful. Your testimony has definitely helped me in my current situation. Putting all my hope and trust in God and allowing Him to do the rest, which is the Best. Thank you so much for sharing your story. ๐Ÿ’—

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